When your stress relief becomes your stressor

So, I've taken a 2-week hiatus from blogging. Not on purpose, but life has been crazy and more than I can handle at moments. Between non-stop work on the new house, cleaning our old apartment from top to bottom on week nights, dealing with randomness like a bat in our house at 2am, and lastly, my cat of 15 years suddenly passing away, I just haven't had the time or energy (or internet connection in the new house) to blog.

Because of some trips that we are taking at the end of the month, I had to bump my 20 mile training run (originally scheduled for 8/27) up to 8/20. That was the plan up until I had a stressful week both at work and home, and then realized I was trying to squeeze a 20 mile run in between a late Friday night at the Colts game and my dad's weekend visit starting at 1pm on Saturday. And obviously the run itself was a cause of anxiety, when I hadn't done that distance before...and we're looking at a good 4 hours of a run cutting into other plans I had. (You know I'm having a hard time when Chad calls to tell me he got last minute Colts tickets and I burst into tears because all I can think is how it's going to cut into my sleep time. And what kind of healthy carb-loading can you do at concession stands?!) By the Thursday leading up to the long run weekend, I had decided to cut it down to 15 miles instead of 20. I never thought that 15 miles would seem like an easy, comfortable thing to do, but in the midst of that week, it was the best decision I made for myself.

One of the hardest things for me to do is go back on my word or change the disciplined plans I make for myself. It makes me feel weak or like I'm letting myself off the hook. Normally this is a good quality to have, but you have to leave room for life to happen. I was especially scared of altering Galloway's training plan too, since it has been so beneficial for me thus far--both in terms of having something to stick to as well as proving good results. However, I realized that because I'm not planning on doing the 26 mile training run, I have some leeway--I can replace that weekend with the 23 mile run, and replace the old 23 mile weekend with the 20 that I didn't do.

I couldn't have asked for a better 15-mile run. I ran 5 on my own before meeting up with Sarah on the Monon, then we did 10 together. Our pace was significantly faster than the last time we ran as a pair, and we both kept commenting on how great we felt. I hit a bit of a wall around my mile 13, but a quick gel pack fixed me up in no time. (That extra hour I saved by not doing the 20 miles sure came in handy too!)

I was thinking earlier last week (before the cat died) about how I've always thought that I handled stress well. While this was definitley more stress than I was used to all at once, not any single item was unbearable on its own. Normally, a certain amount of stress makes me focus more on staying on task and excelling at my jobs, so why was I having that underwater feeling of not being able to reach the surface? Sometimes when I'm in these modes, Chad will say "You don't handle stress very well do you?" The first time he said this, it took me completely off guard. Do I? Maybe it's because I'm fortunate enough to not have many "wrong" things going on in my life. Maybe it's because I exercise for a living, so I'm always getting that period of relief. And THAT'S when it hit me. My stress relief (exercise, running) was becoming my stressor (20 miles of obligation in the middle of life's chaos--both planned and unplanned). That solidified my decision to "let myself off the hook" and run 5 miles less, valuing the quality over a number goal.

What I learned was that while you do have to be disciplined about training for a marathon and you do have to carve out the time and make running your priority, it can't control your life. Consume maybe, but never take over command.

A Long Weekend

It was a long weekend in a few regards... Firstly, I took off work on Friday, giving myself a 3-day weekend for some major packing of our apartment then moving/unpacking into our new house. You always forget how bad moving is, especially stairs are involved anywhere. There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do, and it's exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Lastly, it was a long run weekend: a daunting 17 miles (again, let me remind you, off the heels of my vacation).

I worked up a game plan with my friend Sarah. She was also off work on Friday and was due for an 11 mile run as part of her half-marathon training. She agreed to run it with me, then I would do 6 more by myself after that. Luckily, I had a WAY better idea of doing my 6 loner miles before I ran the 11 with her, that way when she was done running, so was I. And mentally, it works better to have someone running alongside you as you pump out those last miles that your body has never done before. I can't count how many times during our 11 miles that I said "I'm SO glad I don't have to run SIX more after this without you!!"

In general, the run went really well--neither one of us had a breakdown, either physically or emotionally--and yes, both are possibilities when you're running this distance. Between the miles on my own and the miles with Sarah, my pace averaged out to about 12 minutes--right on target to Galloway's training recommedation for me. Sarah's husband Dan was kind enough to follow us around in the car for a good chunk of the run, bringing us Gatorade, water and even sweat towels at designated spots. (Anyone watching the scene would have thought, "Who is this guy in a car creeping on two girls as they run?!") We ended up taking 4 pit stops for the Gatorade, and honestly, I felt like I needed each one of them. We debated on whether or not ask Dan for that last pit stop at mile 9 (mile 15 for me), but were SO glad that we had that extra chance for fluids....again, stressing the importance of staying hydrated and balanced with electrolytes.

I still haven't figured out the Curse of the Last Mile, but it exists. We were both feeling the effects of the entire run catching up with us on that last .75-.5 mile. Your mind can only fool your body for so long. I didn't want to admit how badly my legs were cramping, that I could have puked if I tried, and that I didn't even want to cool-down afterwards---just crash on the street. Even though these thoughts are going through your mind, it's irrelevant--you can practically see your stopping point, you know it's only one more song on the iPod, and you'll just do it. End of story.

After a few minutes of standing in the sprinkler, we went inside and happily found the floor. I was nauseous and had tighter leg muscles than I've had, well, ever. Normally, as I'm approaching the end of a long run, I can feel the pain/tightness spreading in my hamstrings, hips and low back. That started this time around mile 13, but by the end, even my calves were gettting sore. As I was attempting to stretch out afterwards, there was a cramp in my shin and calf that kept locking up my ankle, and my hamstrings were so tight I could barely even straighten my knee!

The next day, my legs were more sore from a run than they had been since the Ft. Ben Harrison race. It's pretty rare that my legs get sore from cardio anymore, so that's saying something. (Strength workouts are a different story. I will NEVER forget the time I unknowingly jumped into Week 12 (of 12) of boot camp at Life Time Fitness. Holy squats and lunges. For the next 3 days I wanted to cry every time I walked downstairs or tried to sit.)

As for my appetite after a long run, I can't really stand the thought of food for about 30 minutes post-run, but then I start to eat small snacks around lunch time to get in some protein, and by dinner time I'm fully ready for a big meal. Then, the next day I'm ravenous. Nothing can fill me up for more than a couple hours. However, this time was different.... my appetite actually felt lowered for the next 3 days after the run. We went to lunch at Riviera Maya a few hours after the run and I only ate about a third of my burrito. Even amongst all the moving/unpacking of the weekend, I would stop and realize that it had been hours since I last ate, but I wasn't quite ready for food.

Every run is always different. Thus far in training, I wouldn't say any two of them have been exactly alike. They can't be classified as good or bad; it must be dissected way more than that. And if I've learned anything lately, any run you finish is not only a good run, but an accomplishment.

Beach Running

Well, I successfully exercised 3 times on vacation! Pretty unusual for me, but it would have been a poor choice to take a week off of running in the middle of a marathon training program. That may be about the only productive thing I did all week, unless you count reading an entire book or finding some great deals at the Tanger Outlet stores. The first morning that we were actually at our destination, my in-laws got up early to take a walk on the beach. I decided to go with them and knock out one of my 3 mile runs on the beach for the a change. (With shoes, not barefoot.) Luckily, the sand was pretty flat, especially during low tide, and it was also compact enough that I was able to run without much problem. I will say, it was definitely harder than running on pavement! My time was pretty average for an 85 degree run, but I could just tell I was using way more leg muscle to get through than normal. On sand, you have to compensate for the slight sinking that your foot does with every step, and obviously even a smooth beach is nowhere near as level or steady as the road. The hardest part was turning around at my halfway point and running on the opposite slant after I had grown accustomed to leaning towards one side.

The other two runs of the week were on a treadmill--another 3 and a 5. It made me wonder why I never even attempt to workout on vacations. It doesn't take much time out of the day, and it was nice to get in some movement to put a tiny dent in all the eating I was doing! Even with 3 workouts, I still gained 3 pounds on the trip. Not a shocker though, considering the eating out every night and finally, after 4 weeks, introducing desserts back into my diet (the road trip candy, Myrtle Beach ice cream parlors, Tennessee fudge, and my Grandma's pound cake when we stopped there on the way back home).

So now, the week ahead is staring me in the face. I'll be teaching 3 spin classes in addition to my own workouts, then my long run this week is 17 miles (I say that happily, because up until today, I thought it was 18--what a great surprise that I was mistaken!). Bring it on.