So, I've taken a 2-week hiatus from blogging. Not on purpose, but life has been crazy and more than I can handle at moments. Between non-stop work on the new house, cleaning our old apartment from top to bottom on week nights, dealing with randomness like a bat in our house at 2am, and lastly, my cat of 15 years suddenly passing away, I just haven't had the time or energy (or internet connection in the new house) to blog.
Because of some trips that we are taking at the end of the month, I had to bump my 20 mile training run (originally scheduled for 8/27) up to 8/20. That was the plan up until I had a stressful week both at work and home, and then realized I was trying to squeeze a 20 mile run in between a late Friday night at the Colts game and my dad's weekend visit starting at 1pm on Saturday. And obviously the run itself was a cause of anxiety, when I hadn't done that distance before...and we're looking at a good 4 hours of a run cutting into other plans I had. (You know I'm having a hard time when Chad calls to tell me he got last minute Colts tickets and I burst into tears because all I can think is how it's going to cut into my sleep time. And what kind of healthy carb-loading can you do at concession stands?!) By the Thursday leading up to the long run weekend, I had decided to cut it down to 15 miles instead of 20. I never thought that 15 miles would seem like an easy, comfortable thing to do, but in the midst of that week, it was the best decision I made for myself.
One of the hardest things for me to do is go back on my word or change the disciplined plans I make for myself. It makes me feel weak or like I'm letting myself off the hook. Normally this is a good quality to have, but you have to leave room for life to happen. I was especially scared of altering Galloway's training plan too, since it has been so beneficial for me thus far--both in terms of having something to stick to as well as proving good results. However, I realized that because I'm not planning on doing the 26 mile training run, I have some leeway--I can replace that weekend with the 23 mile run, and replace the old 23 mile weekend with the 20 that I didn't do.
I couldn't have asked for a better 15-mile run. I ran 5 on my own before meeting up with Sarah on the Monon, then we did 10 together. Our pace was significantly faster than the last time we ran as a pair, and we both kept commenting on how great we felt. I hit a bit of a wall around my mile 13, but a quick gel pack fixed me up in no time. (That extra hour I saved by not doing the 20 miles sure came in handy too!)
I was thinking earlier last week (before the cat died) about how I've always thought that I handled stress well. While this was definitley more stress than I was used to all at once, not any single item was unbearable on its own. Normally, a certain amount of stress makes me focus more on staying on task and excelling at my jobs, so why was I having that underwater feeling of not being able to reach the surface? Sometimes when I'm in these modes, Chad will say "You don't handle stress very well do you?" The first time he said this, it took me completely off guard. Do I? Maybe it's because I'm fortunate enough to not have many "wrong" things going on in my life. Maybe it's because I exercise for a living, so I'm always getting that period of relief. And THAT'S when it hit me. My stress relief (exercise, running) was becoming my stressor (20 miles of obligation in the middle of life's chaos--both planned and unplanned). That solidified my decision to "let myself off the hook" and run 5 miles less, valuing the quality over a number goal.
What I learned was that while you do have to be disciplined about training for a marathon and you do have to carve out the time and make running your priority, it can't control your life. Consume maybe, but never take over command.
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