After working in the world of fitness for 6 years, running races, and people-watching all the time, I've put together a list of funny things that label you as NOT a true runner. I'm sure I'm at the risk of offending some poeple, so if you started out running like this, you've since learned the error of your ways, I'm sure. And again, it's just meant to be funny. :)
You're not a REAL runner if....
1. If you run in Skechers Shape-Ups, Reebok Run Tones or any other "toning" shoes of the sort. I have major beef with these shoes anyway--usually the poeple who try them out are looking for quick fixes and are the culprits of creative marketing--but it's beyond me how poeple can run in these!
2. If you run more than 10 miles in cotton t-shirts, flannel shorts or sweatpants. In other words, anything made of a material that works better sitting on a couch than absorbing sweat.
3. If the treadmill is your BFF. For real runners, the treadmill is always Plan B. Made for days of inclement weather, quick easy workouts--not for serious training.
4. If you wear water-bottle belts, load up on gel packs and stop at every Gatorade station....for a 5K.
5. If the 5K is your best race. Real runners know that we never hit that "feel good" point until somewhere between mile 2-5. We're only getting started at 3.1.
6. If by "running," you mean that you exercised on the elliptical. I have heard countless poeple say, "Yeah, I got a 30-minute run in on the elliptical." Running and elliptical don't belong in the same sentence.
7. And lastly...if any of these are you: Awkward Runners
Feel free to add your own to this list!
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