When your stress relief becomes your stressor

So, I've taken a 2-week hiatus from blogging. Not on purpose, but life has been crazy and more than I can handle at moments. Between non-stop work on the new house, cleaning our old apartment from top to bottom on week nights, dealing with randomness like a bat in our house at 2am, and lastly, my cat of 15 years suddenly passing away, I just haven't had the time or energy (or internet connection in the new house) to blog.

Because of some trips that we are taking at the end of the month, I had to bump my 20 mile training run (originally scheduled for 8/27) up to 8/20. That was the plan up until I had a stressful week both at work and home, and then realized I was trying to squeeze a 20 mile run in between a late Friday night at the Colts game and my dad's weekend visit starting at 1pm on Saturday. And obviously the run itself was a cause of anxiety, when I hadn't done that distance before...and we're looking at a good 4 hours of a run cutting into other plans I had. (You know I'm having a hard time when Chad calls to tell me he got last minute Colts tickets and I burst into tears because all I can think is how it's going to cut into my sleep time. And what kind of healthy carb-loading can you do at concession stands?!) By the Thursday leading up to the long run weekend, I had decided to cut it down to 15 miles instead of 20. I never thought that 15 miles would seem like an easy, comfortable thing to do, but in the midst of that week, it was the best decision I made for myself.

One of the hardest things for me to do is go back on my word or change the disciplined plans I make for myself. It makes me feel weak or like I'm letting myself off the hook. Normally this is a good quality to have, but you have to leave room for life to happen. I was especially scared of altering Galloway's training plan too, since it has been so beneficial for me thus far--both in terms of having something to stick to as well as proving good results. However, I realized that because I'm not planning on doing the 26 mile training run, I have some leeway--I can replace that weekend with the 23 mile run, and replace the old 23 mile weekend with the 20 that I didn't do.

I couldn't have asked for a better 15-mile run. I ran 5 on my own before meeting up with Sarah on the Monon, then we did 10 together. Our pace was significantly faster than the last time we ran as a pair, and we both kept commenting on how great we felt. I hit a bit of a wall around my mile 13, but a quick gel pack fixed me up in no time. (That extra hour I saved by not doing the 20 miles sure came in handy too!)

I was thinking earlier last week (before the cat died) about how I've always thought that I handled stress well. While this was definitley more stress than I was used to all at once, not any single item was unbearable on its own. Normally, a certain amount of stress makes me focus more on staying on task and excelling at my jobs, so why was I having that underwater feeling of not being able to reach the surface? Sometimes when I'm in these modes, Chad will say "You don't handle stress very well do you?" The first time he said this, it took me completely off guard. Do I? Maybe it's because I'm fortunate enough to not have many "wrong" things going on in my life. Maybe it's because I exercise for a living, so I'm always getting that period of relief. And THAT'S when it hit me. My stress relief (exercise, running) was becoming my stressor (20 miles of obligation in the middle of life's chaos--both planned and unplanned). That solidified my decision to "let myself off the hook" and run 5 miles less, valuing the quality over a number goal.

What I learned was that while you do have to be disciplined about training for a marathon and you do have to carve out the time and make running your priority, it can't control your life. Consume maybe, but never take over command.

A Long Weekend

It was a long weekend in a few regards... Firstly, I took off work on Friday, giving myself a 3-day weekend for some major packing of our apartment then moving/unpacking into our new house. You always forget how bad moving is, especially stairs are involved anywhere. There aren't enough hours in the day to do everything you want to do, and it's exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Lastly, it was a long run weekend: a daunting 17 miles (again, let me remind you, off the heels of my vacation).

I worked up a game plan with my friend Sarah. She was also off work on Friday and was due for an 11 mile run as part of her half-marathon training. She agreed to run it with me, then I would do 6 more by myself after that. Luckily, I had a WAY better idea of doing my 6 loner miles before I ran the 11 with her, that way when she was done running, so was I. And mentally, it works better to have someone running alongside you as you pump out those last miles that your body has never done before. I can't count how many times during our 11 miles that I said "I'm SO glad I don't have to run SIX more after this without you!!"

In general, the run went really well--neither one of us had a breakdown, either physically or emotionally--and yes, both are possibilities when you're running this distance. Between the miles on my own and the miles with Sarah, my pace averaged out to about 12 minutes--right on target to Galloway's training recommedation for me. Sarah's husband Dan was kind enough to follow us around in the car for a good chunk of the run, bringing us Gatorade, water and even sweat towels at designated spots. (Anyone watching the scene would have thought, "Who is this guy in a car creeping on two girls as they run?!") We ended up taking 4 pit stops for the Gatorade, and honestly, I felt like I needed each one of them. We debated on whether or not ask Dan for that last pit stop at mile 9 (mile 15 for me), but were SO glad that we had that extra chance for fluids....again, stressing the importance of staying hydrated and balanced with electrolytes.

I still haven't figured out the Curse of the Last Mile, but it exists. We were both feeling the effects of the entire run catching up with us on that last .75-.5 mile. Your mind can only fool your body for so long. I didn't want to admit how badly my legs were cramping, that I could have puked if I tried, and that I didn't even want to cool-down afterwards---just crash on the street. Even though these thoughts are going through your mind, it's irrelevant--you can practically see your stopping point, you know it's only one more song on the iPod, and you'll just do it. End of story.

After a few minutes of standing in the sprinkler, we went inside and happily found the floor. I was nauseous and had tighter leg muscles than I've had, well, ever. Normally, as I'm approaching the end of a long run, I can feel the pain/tightness spreading in my hamstrings, hips and low back. That started this time around mile 13, but by the end, even my calves were gettting sore. As I was attempting to stretch out afterwards, there was a cramp in my shin and calf that kept locking up my ankle, and my hamstrings were so tight I could barely even straighten my knee!

The next day, my legs were more sore from a run than they had been since the Ft. Ben Harrison race. It's pretty rare that my legs get sore from cardio anymore, so that's saying something. (Strength workouts are a different story. I will NEVER forget the time I unknowingly jumped into Week 12 (of 12) of boot camp at Life Time Fitness. Holy squats and lunges. For the next 3 days I wanted to cry every time I walked downstairs or tried to sit.)

As for my appetite after a long run, I can't really stand the thought of food for about 30 minutes post-run, but then I start to eat small snacks around lunch time to get in some protein, and by dinner time I'm fully ready for a big meal. Then, the next day I'm ravenous. Nothing can fill me up for more than a couple hours. However, this time was different.... my appetite actually felt lowered for the next 3 days after the run. We went to lunch at Riviera Maya a few hours after the run and I only ate about a third of my burrito. Even amongst all the moving/unpacking of the weekend, I would stop and realize that it had been hours since I last ate, but I wasn't quite ready for food.

Every run is always different. Thus far in training, I wouldn't say any two of them have been exactly alike. They can't be classified as good or bad; it must be dissected way more than that. And if I've learned anything lately, any run you finish is not only a good run, but an accomplishment.

Beach Running

Well, I successfully exercised 3 times on vacation! Pretty unusual for me, but it would have been a poor choice to take a week off of running in the middle of a marathon training program. That may be about the only productive thing I did all week, unless you count reading an entire book or finding some great deals at the Tanger Outlet stores. The first morning that we were actually at our destination, my in-laws got up early to take a walk on the beach. I decided to go with them and knock out one of my 3 mile runs on the beach for the a change. (With shoes, not barefoot.) Luckily, the sand was pretty flat, especially during low tide, and it was also compact enough that I was able to run without much problem. I will say, it was definitely harder than running on pavement! My time was pretty average for an 85 degree run, but I could just tell I was using way more leg muscle to get through than normal. On sand, you have to compensate for the slight sinking that your foot does with every step, and obviously even a smooth beach is nowhere near as level or steady as the road. The hardest part was turning around at my halfway point and running on the opposite slant after I had grown accustomed to leaning towards one side.

The other two runs of the week were on a treadmill--another 3 and a 5. It made me wonder why I never even attempt to workout on vacations. It doesn't take much time out of the day, and it was nice to get in some movement to put a tiny dent in all the eating I was doing! Even with 3 workouts, I still gained 3 pounds on the trip. Not a shocker though, considering the eating out every night and finally, after 4 weeks, introducing desserts back into my diet (the road trip candy, Myrtle Beach ice cream parlors, Tennessee fudge, and my Grandma's pound cake when we stopped there on the way back home).

So now, the week ahead is staring me in the face. I'll be teaching 3 spin classes in addition to my own workouts, then my long run this week is 17 miles (I say that happily, because up until today, I thought it was 18--what a great surprise that I was mistaken!). Bring it on.

The Miles in Between

You know what made my 14 mile run so great on Saturday, other than the obvious fact that it was the furthest distance I had ever run in my life? It was my last long run before VACATION! I stuck with my plan of bumping up the 14 miles by one week, so now my "long runs" for the next two weekends will be a 4-miler that I'll get in right before we get on the road Friday morning, and a 5-miler that I'll do down in Myrtle Beach.

As for how the 14 miles went... it definitely didn't feel as good as the 12-mile did. Which should have been expected I suppose, considering not every long run can be that exhilarating, but I stayed hydrated and kept my pace pretty steady until the end. I tried something a little different this time, and instead of keeping all legs of the run equal, I did 6, 5, then 3. It worked out well, saving the shortest trip for last, when you're just ready to be done.

The last mile was brutal. I always wonder, in these situations, what was so different about that last 10 minutes than the entire run leading up to that? The phrase "hitting a wall" is right on, in that you can be feeling awesome and then out of nowhere, you can't run another mile. I always try to ask myself, is it just mental? That feeling of the last mile and just wanting it to be over so badly? Am I subconsciously speeding up trying to get this thing over with? Or is it truly the physical aspect of going one mile further than your body's ever gone? It wasn't just the fatigue, in fact my legs felt fine. It was cramps all around the stomach, lungs and muscles that help you breathe. I had to pause about 3 times during the last 1.5 miles to stretch out my chest and ribcage. I was happy with my time of 2h23m. I made a point to glance at my Garmin as I hit 13.1 to see what my half-marathon time would have been--2h12m, which was 3 minutes faster than my first Mini back in 2009. Pretty good, considering this was a training run, not a race.

One day a few weeks ago my friend Sarah and I were sharing our running woes--she is currently training for her first half-marathon. We complained about the frustration of figuring out our pace, the angst of feeling like we're dying by the end of a run, the mental challenge of 13.1 or 26.2 miles when you're nowhere near that goal, etc. I (half) jokingly said, "Why do we do this to ourselves??" and she replied back with something that has stuck with me ever since: "We don't run for the first or the last miles; it's all the miles in between." How true is that? Let me tell you, when you're training for a distance race, there are a LOT of in-between miles! Everyone knows the first mile can be rough--getting in your groove, establishing your pace, working out those kinks in your legs/joints. As for the last mile, yes, it can definitely be an exciting one where you bump up that pace and have adrenaline enough to carry you past a finish line at record time. But it can also be just plain hard. And mentally draining. The one where time stands still and it feels like an eternity to run one-tenth of a mile.

But the miles in between are the ones that count--the ones where I zone out, where my endurance is building up, where I pay attention to scenery, where I feel like I can conquer the world...where I run for me.

On a Runner's High

Coming off of the heels of a great 12 mile run last weekend, I had a fantastic short run on Tuesday of this week. I decided to do an early morning run before work, since the first half of this week was so humid you could feel the wetness slap your face when you walked outside. I was just expecting a normal, easy 3-miler, and in fact I was feeling a little sleepy. But when I glanced at my Garmin and saw that I finished my first mile in only 8 minutes, I thought, I have to go for it now!! So I kept up the pace (that I hadn't even realized I was running at) and finished at 24:35...completely shattering my previous 3-mile record of 26:21. And until the end, it was so effortless! I had just made a comment to a friend last week how with all these 3 miles runs I've been getting in, I hadn't been able to beat my previous record that I set back in May--not that I was purposely trying to beat it, but after being over 2 months into the training, you would think it would naturally happen.

Running is strange like that--your best runs are when you have NO expectations and when your pace is in tune with how your body feels.

I must also add that Galloway's Magic Mile predictions are genius. Remember, the idea is that you take your fastest 1-mile time (mine is 7:35) and plug that into his race calculator to predict your times for longer distances. I've already said that his prediction of my half-marathon time was RIGHT on. Here again, he estimates that I would finish a 5K at 25:13, or a pace of 8:08, and if I would have added another .1 to that 3-mile run, that's almost exactly what it would have been! Further assurance that this guy knows what he's talking about :)

Finally, a Negative Split!

Negative split. Noun. Definition: when a runner's second half of a race is shorter than the first; a phenomenon unheard of in Mechelle's marathon training....until now!

Even though a negative split is something many runners shoot for, it's never been a goal of mine in training or races. So what if my first half of the race is faster? It's all about the finish time right? I prefer just running at the pace that feels good at that moment--so naturally in the first half of a run, you'll be able to do that before fatigue sets in. But with that said, I was getting sick and tired of my mile times drastically dropping off during the last few miles. Beyond that, I was discouraged by how dead I've been feeling as I've approached the end of my runs...heavy legs, hitting a wall. Obviously, in a marathon it would be good to have energy the whole race through, not just at the beginning!

Here's what I did differently for my 12-mile run this past Saturday that I'm sure has everything to do with helping me get a negative split, and is probably what I should have been doing all along--I woke up early and got in my long run before the day heated up. Sure, the thought of getting up earlier on a Saturday than I do during the week sounded terrible, but the cooler temperatures were worth it, and I will be doing it again for every long run. The temperature is going nowhere except straight up lately. Today it had to be at least 1,000 degrees, and it's the kind of humidity that fogs up your sunglasses the second you step outside. Not only is this unpleasant for long runs, but borderline dangerous if you're trying to build up your mileage. So, Saturday I was out the door by 7:30am, finished by 9:28, and it was THE best run I've had thus far in this program. Not only did I finish the 12 miles easily, but I FINALLY felt like I could have done a couple more. The time even flew by and it was a peaceful run as the town of Fishers was just waking up on a Saturday morning. I even caught myself listening to a few of the slower songs on my iPod that I would normally skip right past.

I really stuck to my goal of slowing down the first few miles, keeping a conservative 10 minute pace even when my body was saying speed up. It totally paid off in the end as my last 3 miles were the 3 fastest ones, with the 12th mile being an 8:50. And I STILL felt great!!

Here are some thoughts I had after the run:
1. If i was training for a half-marathon, I would be finished already!!
2. Since when does 12 miles seem like nothing to me? I've come so far with running in just a few years.
3. I'm finally running distances where I can say that I'll just have to double that amount for the marathon...instead of triple or quadruple the amount!
4. From here on out, each long run will be the farthest distance I've ever run in my life. Kind of a cool feeling that makes me anticipate each week! Goodbye old record of 13.1 :)

Beach, here I come!

One of the perks of staying in a regular fitness routine (or making fitness your job, like me!) is that your body stays swim suit-ready all year round. It's not a last minute effort to lose 10 pounds before an upcoming vacation. With that said, I don't know many people out there, even fitness professionals, that feel 100% confident to be on a beach at the drop of a hat.

Once you're beyond the fitness level of health, strength and endurance, you start fine tuning-- for example working on performance for a certain sport or skill, increasing mile pace, sculpting your body. Fitness at this level is an ebb and flow. There may be a month or so where you feel at your peak fitness in terms of how many pull-ups you can do, how low your body fat percentage is, or how your abs look, but you can't be expected to sustain those things at that level all year round.

Jillian Michaels has a great book out called "Making the Cut." It's targeted for people who want to lose the last 5-10 pounds, not major weight loss. She includes a workout and diet plan for 30 days to either kick-start a program or finish up strong. I've never done the program, but I like that even she talks about how she follows the plan when she has a photo shoot or big event coming up, to reach her peak appearance. Many of the exercises she includes are also in her "Hot Bod in a Box," so I know from doing those, that your body's tone and definition can increase in just 8 weeks.

A beach vacation is one of those times where I want to feel at my peak fitness. For me it's not so much about how I look to other people in my bathing suit--once you're married, who are you trying to impress out there anyway?! It's about the confidence and inhibition to just relax and either lie on the beach or take a walk through the waves and not worry about a thing--other than stepping on sea creatures. Plus after several few weeks of hard workouts, it's good to see the results pay off and to be able to enjoy a week away from the routine.

Luckily, this year as I gear up for 2 vacations, one in July and one over Labor Day weekend, I will be right in the middle of my marathon training, which has a natural way of keeping extra fat off. The biggest thing I do before vacations is eliminate desserts from my diet. Sweets have always been my weakness, so I probably end up eating a few less calories, but I always notice the change in my stomach--my weight usually stays the same, but because bloating is one side effect of sugar, my stomach looks and feels flatter. I also log all of my food and exercise in the weeks leading up to vacation, starting at least 4 weeks out, that way I make more of an effort to keep both in line.

18 days until my toes hit the sand. Not that I'm counting...